The elevator

There's an elevator where I work. There are 4 floors. I started out on floor 2. I never took the elevator. I thought it'd be a little embarrassing to take it just one floor up. So I became a stairs girl. Well, a few weeks ago, I moved to the 4th floor. Feeling ambitious, I decided, I was going to continue to take the stairs. Another opportunity to burn a few extra calories. That lasted a day. 4 flights of stairs, with full coffee cup, workout bag, and heels is NOT pleasant. I'm not that tough. And I'm not going to pretend to be tough. So, the elevator it is.

And boy, was I missing out. The elevator provides me some comic relief. I didn't realize how much I was missing!! So I'm going to describe just a few elevator moments for you.

1. You have the morning person in with about 10 non morning people. Morning person has a vase of flowers from her garden and is humming. It was all I could do to not laugh at the blank, or annoyed stares she got.
2. The awkward silence ride. This happens more often then not. Just 2 of you, in an enclosed area, each of you hugging the opposite wall. I usually try to small talk it when I'm in this situation.
3. The talk your leg off ride. That's where one person is telling you waaaaay too much information in a short amount of time.
4. The cell phone guy. For some reason, I've gotten on with him like twice a week. He's talking REALLY LOUD and everyone is listening to his conversation because they are a captive audience. Really, people, no cell phone conversations on the elevator.
5. And the no manners person. This actually happened to me. I had my bagel on a plate from the cafeteria. During our short ride to 4, no manners person sneezes. And fills the elevator with her sneeze spray. Now here was my delima. I was STARVING. Do I trash the bagel or just eat it? I'm leaving that one open ended.
6. The people who hate each other ride. I watched 2 people, who I knew had had an altercation, awkwardly get on the elevator together. It gave me a chuckle.
7. And finally, the ride by yourself hair and makeup check. This is a personal fav. The entire backside of the elevator is mirrors. So if I am lucky enough to get an elevator all to myself, I wait until the doors close and then immediately spin around to check my hair and makeup. Multitasking at its best.

When I need a break at work, forget the break room. I'm riding the elevators.

The Battle

Now I'm not one of those parents who makes their kids eat all their dinner. I'm not knocking them at all. Its just not my style. My rule, is the "no thank you" bite. That means, you take at least one bite of what is on your plate. And if you don't like it, you say no thank you. My theory is that they'll be hungry the rest of the night and the kitchen will be closed and that is how they will learn to eat their dinner.

Rene' is 3 now. Terrible 2's - don't hit my children. Its the 3's where you wonder why in the world you took on child rearing. Its not pretty for some reason, when my kids turn 3. Dinner last night was a simple tortilla wrap. Kudos to Andy for these - I could have bought mine in a deli for $5.95, it was soooo good. Turkey, cheese, avocado, sunflower seeds, lettuce, then lightly heated in a skillet to warm - delicious!!!Now the kids was a little more tame. Turkey, cheese, tortilla. Not asking much for a no thank you bite there - right? Wrong. Rene' was having none of that. She gobbled up here tomatoes drizzled with balsamic vinegar. And even had 2nds and 3rds on those. But I cut her off at 3rds and said she needed to eat her turkey wrap. This produced a dramatic shove of the plate and an emphatic "no". So we drug out the chips. Whoever ate their wrap, got chips. Zak and Paige happily scarfed down their wraps in order to get chips, while Rene' sat and cried. "Just one bite, Rene', that's all it takes to get chips". Another plate shove and "no". So we all finish dinner. Rene' has tried to get down from her chair about 20 times, and I've just put her back each time. I decide, this is a battle of wills. And I am soooo not losing. Then we break out the ice cream. We all sit at the table, with Rene' and eat our ice cream, while she is crying because she STILL will not take one bite of her wrap. So then I had to ponder my next move. Since I am not going to lose this battle, what do I do? Do I make her sit at the table, even if its hours, to produce one bite? She's tired, I know this, because she didn't take a nap. So I changed my strategy. I said, ok, Rene', if your done, that's fine, but your going to bed. Right now. It was 6. Through tears she screams "I want to go to bed". So I whisked her off, while the other kids got to go outside and play with dad. She got her bath, 3 books, and was in bed by 630.

Now I don't know if I won that one or not. I guess we'll see at dinner time tonight. If we have the same song, 2nd verse, I just might be coming back here to ask for some advice on this one.

Big Daddy

So Paige starts calling Andy "Big Daddy". She was holding out the TV remote to him yesterday and was getting annoyed that he wouldn't take it. Then she was like "HERE Big Daddy". The look on Andy's face was priceless. I started laughing so hard. So then at bedtime, I'm in with Carson, and Andy's in with the girls - Paige is like hey mom - while Dad was praying, I just said "And thanks for my Big Daddy". So Andy's taking it personally. I think she picked it up somewhere, because she says it with such enthusiasm.

Not so impressed with Princess and the Frog. Too much Voo Doo stuff. So Paige and I are having a conversation about it and she says, why do they have to put that scary stuff in? Zak chimes in, matter of factly "All Disney movies are like that, it makes for a good story". Wow. So true Zak, thanks for that 7 year old perspective

So Zak comes in and tells Andy he's going to open a store where everything is just a dollar - like good stuff, like DS's, Wii games, etc. (he didn't say etc, that was me). Andy says, you won't make any money. He says, "Dad, I don't care about the money, I care about the people". Who the heck is raising these kids???

Zak - reading the yogurt container "99% fat free"
Paige - "don't you mean debt free?"
Now I know that one is thanks to the Dave Ramsey radio show on in the van on the way home from school.

Kids are fun sometimes.

Crack or no crack - he was taking care of business

Ok - I've been formulating this blog in my mind all week. Because this happened last Sunday. And I really want to do it justice in word form. Because I need to paint just the right picture for you. It was a normal Sunday morning at church for us. Great music, great message, and people taking care of business at the altar. Now I'll let you in on a little secret. I cant keep my eyes closed the entire time when a prayer time is any more than 3 minutes. So I was taking in the candle light, acoustic band, and general spirit led mood.

Until.......

My eyes fell across the large bald man at the alter. Now normally my eyes would pass without stopping on this scene. Except HIS CRACK WAS SHOWING. And I need to fill in this word picture for you. It was not a little tiny bit of crack. It was not an inch, it was not 2 inches, it was not 3 inches. It was 4 INCHES PEOPLE. I know, because I made sure I looked at my ruler when I got home to accurately gauge it.

Now getting tickled in prayer time is torture. Because I felt like when I was a little kid and wasn't supposed to be laughing, so it made it even worse. So I of course jabbed Andy in the side with my elbow. He had his eyes dutifully closed. So he looks at me with a dirty look and a sharp "WHAT". I point up front and giggle to myself. Well, Andy's face made me laugh even more. So he is laughing - giving me stern looks and telling me to be quiet - and then laughing again. I keep looking down, and then up again, because I think to myself - Can he SERIOUSLY not feel that????? So then some men go up to pray with him and I'm like - thank goodness - surely one of them will stand behind him and at least block it.

NO. They didn't. Which made me even more tickled. Because I couldn't get out of my mind what a funny picture that would be. With the candles in the background - people all around him praying - but no one blocking the crack.

So then Andy jabs our friend Jeff who is next to him - points - and then Jeff says "I can't believe you guys would crack a joke like that".

So others start to leave the alter - I'm like surely this guy is about done. But he ends up being the LAST one up there. I'm seriously about to leave because I know I'm being totally disrespectful. Well he finally get up and DOESN'T EVEN PULL UP HIS PANTS.

God really does know what everyone needs. He knew I needed a laugh after a hard week at work. And he gave it to me.

The things people miss out on when they don't go to church.

Here you go, Amber

My friend Amber was kind enough to remind me I hadn't posted in awhile. So Amber, this one's for you! You might regret requesting one....

I am flat worn. out. I'm going to try my best to not let this post be too...hmmm.....how shall i say it. I'm usually a glass half full girl. For the most part. But the past 2 weeks have moved me to the other side, I'm afraid. Lots of things are cyclical for me. I'll feel one way really strongly, work through it, only to find myself there again in a few weeks, months, or years - whatever the cycle is. So its like all those cycles I have going, are all hitting the "glass half empty" side of me at the same time. I'll be the first to say, a lot of it is my fault. Anyone who has ever read this blog knows I'm no stranger to over committing. But here's the problem with that. I really, really do, want to do everything. I want to be super mom for my kids, the best wife ever to my husband, the friend who's always there for you, the party planner, the most efficient at work, the one who sends little cards/gifts to everyone who means something to me in my life, exercise an hour a day, alright - I do believe you got the point. But the past 2 weeks, I've had quite a few people and or things, burst my bubble. And I don't like it. So what's a girl to do about it?

Well tonight - I'm going to go pop some popcorn, and watch "The Office" and hope tomorrow's going to be the beginning of either an upswing, or the day I figure out how to do all that.